Saturday, January 24, 2015

What Does It Take to Be a Family Man?

As a young lady who desires to become a wife and helpmeet, in the Lord's perfect timing, often it gets discouraging seeing so many young men who are so playful and not serious about the things of men and more importantly about the things of the Lord.  Since the time I was nine years old, the Lord laid on my heart to pray faithfully for my future husband.  Though I have not done so always as faithfully as I would have liked, nevertheless it has been my goal to.  But the older I get the more I realize how truly rare a godly man is, who walks in the fear of the Lord and desires above anything else to be a man of God.  The Lord has blessed me to daily have before me the example of my wonderful dad, who truly is a man of God and is serious about the things of men and of the Lord.  I am praying that the Lord will raise up a generation of men who take seriously and will stand and fight for the truths of God's Word, as my dad has so faithfully done.  Oh what need we have of that today!  I thank God for men like my daddy who truly take this seriously!  And I pray that for us ladies, that we will be the kind of women that are truly helpmeets to such men, that strengthen, encourage, pray for and help them.  When I read this blog post by Matthew Jacobson, I was very blessed by it.  Yep, this is my daddy to a T!  And yep, this is what I am praying for for my future husband that he will be this kind of man.  Thank you to all the men out there who take this seriously!  May God bless you!


What does it Really Take to be a Family Man?

A Family man . . .

1) Loves His wife as his first priority.
For building security, stability, and trust, there is no substitute for Dad loving Mom and being fiercely faithful to her. For the true family man, mom comes first and the kids come second.

2) May travel for business or the military but, his heart is always at home.
A family man doesn’t look at “home” as something to be gotten away from. Everyone he encounters knows wherever he is, he’s away from the place and people he loves. He may have a big business meeting with “important” people but, to him, the most important people he will ever interact with are waiting for him at home.

3) Loves children.
Any husband can be a family man at heart, even before the children arrive because he loves them and sees children as an integral part of what God is doing in the world – not as burdens that will compromise his plans, goals, and ministry.

4) Puts his family before himself.
A family man makes a lot of everyday choices for those under his care before he focuses on what he would like. His first choice is to meet his family’s needs. His needs are a second-tier priority to the needs of those he is responsible for.

5) Spends time with his kids.
It’s the least profound reality with the biggest impact. Family men know how children spell the word ‘love’:
T I M E. They don’t spend time with their kids out of obligation but out of genuine love for the little person God entrusted to their care.

6) Keeps himself from filth.
A family man recognizes that spiritual forces are arrayed to destroy everything of value in this life and the next, starting with his relationship with his wife and children. He says “no” to the daily offerings from the spiritual darkness he is surrounded by.

7) Guards family commitments.
He understands that life will send an endless parade of wonderful opportunities his way . . . opportunities that will constantly vie for attention over the commitments he has already made to his wife and kids. Family commitments are not easily or flippantly set aside for the next “wonderful” opportunity.

8) Doesn’t allow the drama from other people’s lives to invade his family and destroy their joy.
A family man genuinely cares about others but is “on point”, guarding his own family’s peace from the chaos of those who refuse to grow and mature.

9) Seeks to get to know his children as individual people.
To the family man, the kids aren’t merely “the kids.” To him, each child is a little person. He respects that unique personality God brought into his life and seeks to truly know and understand him/her.

10) Is ready to mete out discipline when needed.
Because he loves his children, he will not shrink from loving his children through discipline . . . just as God does with us. Whom the Lord loves, he disciplines. Hebrews 12:6

11) Builds up his children with words of affirmation.
The family man knows relationship is built not only through instruction but through affirmation. He looks for opportunities to build up his kids.

12) Doesn’t view time with family a duty to be fulfilled so he can pursue his own interests.
Many dads chafe at the time they spend with their kids. Not the family man. His interests are integrally intertwined with his children’s need to be with him. His heart isn’t constantly roving away from home, yearning to chase personal dreams and interests, if only he could get free of the kids.

13) Guards his children’s innocence in a perverted world.
In many ways, this world is a sick place. The family man is a constant guardian of his children’s innocence. He is aware and purposeful about what they watch, where they go, who they’re with, and what they do.

14) Is purposeful about the character development of his children.
A family man knows that character in his kids is instilled through his example and his training. He actively teaches his children what it means to be good men and women.

15) Expresses to his children that he is proud of them and challenges them to be their best.
Just about every dad will tell you he’s proud of his kids but will he tell them? He will if he’s a family man because he knows they need to hear he approves of and is proud of them.

16) Listens to what his children are trying to say.
A family man is sensitive to the little person who is having difficulty communicating. He’s patient, encouraging his children to express to him what they are feeling.

17) Teaches his children the Truth.
Teaching children who God is and what He requires from us is Dad’s responsibility.

This is a lot to think about for any dad and no one will fulfill each one of these perfectly, all the time . . . certainly, I don’t. But, when we reflect on these things, we “keep our head in the game” and stay focused on what matters, making our children – the first disciples entrusted to us – the priority that God would have them be in our lives.
God bless you, Dad!


  1. Such a wonderful post. I have also been praying for my future husband. It is a shame when you see guys that aren't serious about becoming a father or are just not mature enough.

  2. Hey Julie!
    Thank you for your comment. So glad that you were blessed by the post! And what an encouragement that there are other young ladies out there praying for godly men! Press on, sister, in praying and in becoming a more beautiful and godly young woman whose price is far above rubies for that special man that you are praying for! May the Lord be glorified in men and women who fear Him and love His Name! God bless you! ~Breanna
    "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." (Hebrews 11:6)