3 Powerful Truths About Unleashing Your Feelings

What a powerful reminder by one of my favorite bloggers, Mr. Matthew Jacobson, that we are the masters of our emotions and feelings in Christ Jesus, not slaves to them.  Hope you are as challenged as I was!

~Breanna

   

You might say I’m gifted with the ill-timed comment. I’ve thought a lot about this and I don’t think it’s really my fault.

Like when Barbara came from out of state to visit Lisa. I was trying to do something nice for them, I really was. They were having tea on the couch in the family room, open to the kitchen. It was a “good husband” moment. I wanted them to be able to talk, uninterrupted, so the kids were in the backyard and I quietly listened while washing the dishes. That’s nice, isn’t it?

But, no sooner did I start scrubbing with this new-fangled scrubber that releases the soap as you wash and I got frustrated.

Peek behind the curtain: I hate (I know, Christians aren’t supposed to hate but, I do) I hate things that don’t work – especially if they’re new. I’m convinced there’s a special place in the netherworld for people who make and sell junk.

Anyway, after about three futile attempts at cleaning a pan, I said . . . loudly . . . Where did this worthless piece of junk come from?

Both ladies looked up. “What worthless piece of junk, honey?” Lisa asked with that cringing tone that says, I hope he doesn’t say what I think he’s going to say.

“This stupid thing,” I said, holding up the offending article as absolute proof that the world is falling apart.
“Oh, the new scrubber,” she said, “That is a gift, from Barbara.”

Awkward.

Okay, I’m not quite as guiltless as I first claimed. No one forced me to get all worked up and, I didn’t have to say anything derogatory.  But, I felt strongly about that scrubber and the villains who made it.

Ever felt strongly about something you were discussing with your spouse? When he/she had a different perspective than you? When no one’s giving in? How did that go?

One of the hardest things to believe about our own feelings is that we are completely in charge of them. More typically, we act as if they arrive on the scene as some separate, irresistible force that must be unleashed on the situation.

This is never true. Remember the last time you got fired-up? You expressed your frustration because . . . you expressed your frustration. We made a choice. We are in charge of our emotions. The Devil didn’t make you do it. Your spouse didn’t, either. You chose. I chose. We all choose.
Our feelings aren’t legitimate just because we have them. Do we want to be biblical Christians, walking in the Spirit? Then our feelings will have to submit to something before they do more damage: the Truth.
This is true even when we’re completely right (it was a piece of junk, okay!). God allows for legitimate anger. Ephesians 4:26 says . . . be angry but don’t sin. Even then, when we’re legitimately angry, the Bible teaches us to remain in control of our feelings.

A fool gives full vent to his anger but a wise man quietly holds it back. Proverbs 29:11

Interesting, isn’t it? You can be right and still be a fool by unleashing your feelings on the moment.
God calls us to walk in the Spirit and in Truth. To do so, we need to take proper charge of our feelings and the responses that accompany them. What is the truth about emotions?

1)   When it comes to responding to circumstances or disagreements, you are not a victim. You are in charge. Feelings and responses are a choice.

2)   Feelings might be legitimate . . . but they might also be illegitimate. Truth decides, not the power of the emotions of the moment.

3)   Anger may be justified but don’t give “vent” to it. Be wise, restraining your anger.

Do we do this in our own strength? No, Galatians 5:16 says if you walk in the Spirit you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh.  

How do we walk in the Spirit?

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Angry? Frustrated? It’s your move.

Matthew
www.matthewljacobson.com

Confessions of a Yelling Mom (now reformed)

What an encouragement and challenge this post by Lisa Jacobson from Club31Women blog was to me! Very convicting, but also encouraging.  I hope you will be blessed by reading it.

 

Nobody would have pegged me for a yeller.

Actually, I wouldn’t have guessed it either. Maybe my memory is faulty, but I don’t remember ever having shouted before – except maybe at a college football game or catching a friend’s attention across the parking lot.

Other than that, I’d say I’m a fairly soft-spoken person.

But something seemed to have happened once I had small children. Yeah, it’s like something snapped!

I became a yeller.

A yeller? Me??

At first I blamed it on all kinds of things. Hormones. Stress. Sleep-deprivation. But after a while, I had to face up to the facts. No matter what the cause, I’d turned into a yelling mom.

And I hated it and wanted to change.

I cried out to God to miraculously overcome this awful struggle, secretly hoping for some kind of instantaneous healing. But it turned out to be more of a journey – by His grace, in His strength, and with a lot of determined effort on my part.

One of the first steps of my journey was to start an anger journal. I wrote down each time I lost my cool. I recorded the time of the day, the setting, the person, and the circumstance – much like you would in a food journal. Then I looked for patterns. When did I most often lose it? Under what conditions?

I tried to identify the specific situations I could do something about. For instance, I often unraveled in the late morning and much of it was due to being HUNGRY. A mid-morning snack went a long way toward that trouble. Also, I found that taking a short nap after lunch helped me better handle our afternoons. Setting up a basic routine with our young ones reduced the general chaos which made it a bit easier on my nerves too.

Now those were some problems I could address. But what about those things that I couldn’t control or anticipate? Spilled cereal bowls. Poopy diapers. Arguing children. Seemingly incessant demands on my time and body all day long. Yes, what about those?

Next step….

Unknowingly, I’d always orchestrated my life around what I wanted out of the day. As a single woman, I’d set out goals for myself and then I accomplished them. But my life changed dramatically when I had children. It was no longer all about me and what I thought a day should look like.
So a change was needed – a change in my perspective. It wasn’t merely about what I wanted anymore. My goals. My purposes. My life.

My question needed to be, “Lord, what do You have for us today?”

What if He wanted me to learn “serving” by cleaning up one spill after another that morning? Then I could view the disaster as more of “an opportunity” than a “trial”.

What if our children ruined our trip to the library because of all their bickering? Hmm…looks like The Lord wants us to learn more about loving each other than about reptiles and kangaroos.

When I began looking at our day in this light, that “snappish” feeling wasn’t nearly so strong. And, even if it was one of those terribly trying times, I could ask, “Please, Lord, help me to see what You want for us here?”

While this was a slow, and sometimes painful, process, I eventually got better. Quieter and calmer. Peaceful.

And if you happen to be on just such a journey? Here’s what I’d say:

• Don’t listen to the Enemy that you can’t change. Because you can.

• Don’t be overly hard on yourself if you mess up. Simply start anew the next day. Or  even the very next moment. (On occasion, I’d stop mid-yell…then say aloud, “Nope. I want to try that again.”)

• Don’t attempt to overcome this in your own strength. Rather in Christ (Phil. 4:13).

• Do ask for support and prayer from people who love you. While rather humbling, I’m thankful for a couple of close friends and a husband who stood with me on this one.

So, yes, by God’s grace I’m no longer a yeller.

Well, unless my kids do something really wonderful, that is. Then you’ll hear me shouting as loudly as the next mom.

Yelling and cheering.

And I’ll be cheering for you too.

In His Grace,
Lisa Jacobson

~Posted By Breanna