Thursday, January 31, 2013

Singleness, Love and Marriage

"Singleness is not the ideal state. 
How can you be truly complete when your other half is still out there?" 
 -Pastor Voddie Baucham

I love that quote!  God said it was not good for man to be alone, and so He made woman and brought her to the heart says, "Amen"!  :-) But many questions come up when thinking about marriage and love.  How can we know if we're ready for marriage?  How do we know if he or she is ready for marriage?  And does love and marriage really look like Hollywood portrays it?  What is true, biblical love?  Voddie Baucham answers these questions in his fantastic 4 part sermon series called, "Love and Marriage".  So worth listening to and our family highly recommends them! You can watch all four parts on youtube by clicking the links below. We would love it if you would leave us a comment and share your thoughts on the topic and these messages, if you would care to share them. 

Posted By Breanna


  1. If I'm to be honest, I find the above quote horrifying. Paul makes it very clear in 1 Corinthians 7 that being single IS an ideal state! In His Holy Word, the Lord says both it is not good for a man to be alone, and He says also it is a good thing for one to be single, as that frees you more for the service of the Lord. So which state is right? I think both are, and it is unbiblical to put one higher than the other. Singleness and marriage are both ideal, and the Lord calls different people to each. To say singleness is not ideal is going against what is clear in the New Testament. But I DON'T shoot marriage down, it also is a very precious gift!

    Secondly, I cannot at all agree with this statement: "How can you be truly complete when your other half is still out there?"
    Whether single or married, we are complete in Christ. Not only is He our other half, He MUST be our all in all. To say that you can't be complete because your other half is 'still out there' is to say that Christ is not enough to satisfy you.

    1. Isak,
      Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts! I fully understand the angle that you are coming from and what you are saying, as that is a fairly common view that most of us have been taught for years. However, biblically, I would challenge your thinking. I would really encourage you to listen to at least the first sermon in this series, In The Beginning. That sermon is almost completely dedicated to this very topic. We would see Mr. Baucham's stand being very biblically founded and solid. If you would be willing to, listen to it and then share with us your thoughts on it.

    2. Thanks bree, I'll try to listen to it this weekend, i'll get back to you on this later.

  2. I agree with Brother Isak here, and have watched that message by bro Voddie

  3. Isak must have recruited! I'm just kidding! On a serious note...thank you for commenting, Seth, and sharing your opinion. So where would you disagree with Brother Baucham?

    Isak, I'm not going to let you off the hook either...really want you to listen to that message and then give us your feedback, if ya get time and want to. :-)

    1. You are welcome =)
      I for the most part agree with bro Voddie, except for things like the above quote. As to that please read the 7th chapter of 1Corinthians
      7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
      8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
      9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
      and here

      32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

      33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

      34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

      35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
      again I say that I greatly respect brother Voddie
      and have listened to several of his messages including his first one to a large group, and his stance on family is fine for him, just some of what he says is not how it is taught in the bible.
      I challenge you to find all the places in the bible where Christ teaches on family and marriage, then put them together and see what you think...

  4. Don't worry Bree, i'm actually busy listening to this as I type, will tell you later what i think of it :-)

  5. LOL yes Bree you are the sharp one :-) I did mention the quote to Seth and told him about the sermon i was going to watch, and he told me he thinks he'd seen it so i asked him to come check it out :-)

    I won't write too much, because it seems we keep going in circles on this matter. I disagree strongly with brother Voddie on the above quote, but the sermon i found little i disagree with. There are some things here and there.
    In regards to marriage and singleness, I still disagree with the above quote. Don't get me wrong, i think you may think we are against marriage, but we are NOT. Marriage is a VERY precious gift from the Lord, and is something very good! But so is singleness. The passage Seth posted above was exactly what i was thinking about, and it shows clearly that singleness is also an ideal state, also a gift. As Paul said, each has his gift. I agree most marry, but not all people are called to that, and to be single is a gift also. In two different places in Scripture each is shown to be good, and we can't ignore either one.
    As to whether one should seek actively to marry, and seek a mate, I would refer to 1 Corinthians 7:8-9.
    Ryan Fullerton did a great sermon on singleness a while ago, it was very helpful to me. In it he said (and i agree with him) it is not wrong to seek to be married, but if that becomes more important to you than Christ, then you should leave it at the Lord's feet.
    Seth suggested this sermon to me, and i'm planning to listen to it soon, its by Tim Conway. Will you do me a favor, and listen to it too? :-) That way we did a sermon swap :-) here's the link:

  6. Seth and Isak, thank you so much both of you for being willing to and taking the time to share your thoughts. I definitely have some thoughts that I'm thinking on in regard to this topic. I'll try to sort them out and share soon, but until then...I'll most certainly do a sermon swap with ya Isak and listen to that message by Mr. Conway. :-) Thanks again guys!

  7. That message by Bro. Tim is one of the best I have seen on the subject!

  8. Isak and Seth, I listened to that message by Mr. Conway. I respect Mr. Conway greatly and have been so challenged spiritually by his teaching. His heart for the Lord and commitment to Him is inspiring and such a blessing! I fully agree with Mr. Conway that nothing should be put before the Lord. God MUST be first and foremost in our lives and hearts. Anything that comes before Him is idolatry. However, I believe that if we were to consult the entire Scriptures, Old and New, we would find that Christ has commanded what the family is to be and what each individuals role is in the family and how those roles play out in the church. Biblically, I believe that this order of priority is seen- Christ first and foremost being over all, family, church and then out from there. A man has a responsibility and commitment to his family, to love and care for them and to spiritually guide them. Mr. Conway used Hudson Taylor as an example of "forsaking all to follow Christ". Hudson Taylor, though a godly man that was called by God, forsake one of his highest God-given priorities and what he was commanded to do, in the name of serving the Lord. Sending his wife away from him for months at a time, leading her into sin by forsaking her calling as a wife and mother, again, in the name of serving the Lord, was forsaking what God had commanded him to do in regard to his wife. And them sending their children away from them to be raised by others, they again disobeyed the Word in the name of serving the Lord. God said that He delighted in obedience, not sacrifice. If a man doesn't want the responsibility of a wife and children and does not want the commandments of God to apply to him as a married man and father, then he should not get married. Otherwise, in the name of obeying a calling he forsakes other callings as a husband and father and becomes, as God Himself said, worse than an infidel. Scripturally, searching the Old and New Testament, I believe you cannot find any Scriptural warrant for such behavior. God has called some men to celibacy, but not most. God said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created woman and brought her to him. That is, for the most part, God's will for men. That means that the commands in Scripture regarding to husbands and fathers apply to them. That does not mean that a man cannot be a missionary, because he most definitely can. But he cannot forsake his wife and children to do so. I hope what I'm saying makes some sense. But as you already stated Isak, we seem to go around and around on this topic. So that being said, I appreciate the time both of you guys have taken to share and I think we'll simply agree to disagree. There is much that we have in common...we'll stick with what we have in common instead of what we don't. :-)
    God bless brothers and may He open all of our eyes to understand the truths of His Word!