By: Brittany Ann Alexander
Accepting the grace and forgiveness of Christ is a hard
thing for some of us to grasp. I for one
have greatly struggled with this over the years. After recently seeking to encourage a dear
friend in this way, Mom asked me today to share how the Lord brought me to the
point of being able to see more clearly why I was not willing to accept this
precious gift and how He worked in me to finally be able to. I pray it will be a blessing to those of you
who read it.
The Lord brought me to the gracious point of salvation after
many years of deep spiritual struggle.
But after that, I somewhat lapsed back into a few years of serious
warfare. God was definitely at work in
my heart, but there was so much sin and self to be purged out, and I had some tough
lessons to learn.
I was very discouraged by my continual falling back into old
sinful habits. I so did not want to be
that person. My tendency is to give in
to the defeat of my failure. Once, I had
been extremely irresponsible and had fallen back into something yet again. As a result of this sin, I was not going to
have what we were suppose to have for dinner ready on time. Mom had just recently given birth to one of
my younger siblings, so some neighbors of ours had dropped in to see us and
also brought a meal. I refused to serve
that for dinner, insisting on making something from scratch. Why?
Because I felt that I had messed up so badly, I had to punish
myself. I knew I did not deserve the
‘night off’ from cooking that was provided.
No, that would have helped cover up my mistake, and I wouldn’t take any
help. This is something I had been
characterized by my whole life.
The Lord used that particular circumstance to open my eyes
to the truth. I do fail. I always will. But I do not need to punish myself for
it. As a child of God, I have been
forgiven and cleansed from my sin through Jesus Christ. He has wiped my slate clean. He took the punishment and guilt for me. To deny His gift of grace and forgiveness is
to deny the very cross work of Christ in my life.
I never deserved His grace in the first place. As a now redeemed child of His, I still don’t
deserve it. But that’s not the
point. He gives it. It is a gift intended to be paid for by
Him. But it takes humility to accept
that grace, and the undeserved reconciliation and gifts that go along with
it. It is all there for us, if we will
only accept.
Though I still struggle at times, the Lord has brought me to
the point of being able to accept His wonderful gift through Jesus Christ. I am beloved by God in Christ. He has freely given me all things in
Jesus. There is indescribable joy and
peace to be found here. Praise the Lord
for His wonderful mercy and grace.
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